I picked up a copy of The Aristocrats DVD last week, and boy, lemme tell ya, that movie still cracked me up. I remember going to see it in the theatre with a few friends, and we were rolling in the aisles. (For those of you who don't know, The Aristocrats is a documentary film made by Paul Provenza and Penn Jillette {One half of the comedy/magic duo of Penn and Teller} which chronicles the history of a particular joke that has become somewhat of a competative taboo among comedians, the punchline being the title of the film). The joke itself has lost most of its comedic potency due to the passage of time, but the telling of the joke is what has evolved since it's inception. The entire purpose of the joke, in its present incarnation, is to serve as a vehicle for raunch, lewdness, vulgarity, obscenity, and unspeakable degradation. This is the film...just how dirty can this joke get? In a word, VERY. In even more words, unbelievably filthy! So after seeing it in theatres, I had been raving about it to friends, co-workers, family, etc., describing it as the funniest thing I'd seen in a long time. Fast forward to last week when the DVD is released, and a buddy of mine decides to take it to work and watch it. Now, I'm fairly close in proximity to his work area, and I was beginning to dread the fact that here I was hyping this movie as one of the funniest I'd seen, and there is not a peep coming from my friend's work area. Nothing. You could hear a pin drop! Someone in the film mentions that the way a person decides to tell the joke says a lot about that person. For example, if they use a lot of urine or feces, don't let them in your house. If they use a lot of incest, don't let them near your kids. Or if they use a lot of beastiality, well, let's just say they shouldn't be trusted (Euphemism Alert!) petting your dog. {Rimshot} Now, if that can be said about the person who tells the joke, what can you conclude about the person who finds it funny?? I pondered THAT very question, as I listened to crickets chirpping louder than my friend was laughing. (Or not laughing, depending on how you chose to look at it!) Should I feel ashamed? Emberassed? Disgusted? I mean, after all, people DID walk out of the theatre at our screening of the film, but why didn't I? Am I evil? Demented? Disturbed? Well, yes, but that's beside the point. The point is, why didn't he seem to think it was as funny as I thought (knew) it was?? And then it hit me! The answer, of course, was simple. He must come from a family with a long history of incest, necrofilia, beastiality, scatology, self-mutilation, and female degradation. In which case, I apologize. I still think it's funny as hell, but I'm sorry for it. See? All is right with the world again! (And the peasants rejoice!) Now, let me tell you about a guy I know. He walked into a talent agency...
As I sat at work today eating a bowl of cereal during break, (Honey Nut Cheerios...Mmm Mmm Mmm...Yummy for My Tummy!) I began to reminisce about the good ol' days of my youth when Fridays meant the end of the school week, but also that the next day, Saturday morning, would bring with it the promise of Saturday morning cartoons. (Yippy Skippy!) Whatever happened to those days? Fridays STILL mean the end of the week, but Saturday mornings now bring with them the umpteenth version of the Power Rangers, plus some badly dubbed japanese import involving either a card game or mythical creatures whose sole purpose in life is to battle other such creatures. (Yu-Gi-Oh-My-God-Just-Shoot-Me!!) Anyone remember the Smurfs (La La La La La La La La La La La)? How about Muppet Babies? Gummi Bears? Alvin & the Chipmunks? The Snorks? M.A.S.K.? Transformers? Go-Bots? G.I. Joe? (A REAL American Hero!) Silverhawks? He-Man? Thunder-freaking-Cats?? Come on, even Pee Wee's Playhouse was a classic!! (And to a lesser extent, She-Ra, My Little Pony, Care Bears, Rainbow Brite, Strawberry Shortcake, and Jem!! That's for all the ladies!)Come on networks, get your acts together! Give me another reason to get excited about Saturdays other than the fact that I can sleep in late. Bring back my childhood!! (OMG, What about Bobby's World??)
My buddy gave me a pack of those Marvel Superhero Mighty Beanz in exchange for my family's only cow. I wonder what will grow if I plant them?? Hmmm...Only one way to find out! (I just hope it'll be enough to feed us all!)
So, I have a few hobbies. It started of with comic book collecting. Nothing fancy, mind you, but I have a pretty nice collection. (Perhaps a bit modest compared to most). I started that hobby about 4 or 5 years ago when I discovered a small comic shop had opened in my neighborhood. Now, before that I had bought a few comics simply for their covers (eg. holographics, lithographs, commemorative, etc.) I never really immersed myself in the mythos or the legends of each superhero until I set foot in this quait little comic book shop. I'd go every week (Wednesdays) when the new books would come out, and I'd pick up a handful of marvel titles. (I was there on the groundfloor of both the MAX line and the Ultimate line.) But every week my curiosity would be tempted by some new title from some other company (DC, Dark Horse, Dreamwave {Transformers rule!}, Image, etc.). And like a snowball slowly gaining momentum as it venture down the slopes of Mt. Everest, I was also adding more and more titles to my collection every week. I learned the hard way that hobbies weigh heavy on the pocketbook. Now, this comic shop also carried action figures, and THAT my friends has become my obsession. I have long since abandoned the comics, although I still visit the nerd forums from time to time, and I have friends who fill me in on what I'm missing (SHOUT OUT!!! WHOOPDIE WHOOP!!), but I can't seem to set aside the mistress that has become my action figure collection. The bulk of it is concentrated on Star Wars, but I also have some McFarlane figures, plus a lot of Transformers. And although I hardly have any room left for my ever increasing collection, I just can't seem to stop. The Star Wars figures have been my primary focus now, leading to weekend excursions to various Targets, Wal-Marts, Kay-Bees, or Toys 'R Us(s? es? i? I dunno, what's the plural of that??? Anyone? Anyone? Buller? Buller?) It started with the sneak preview figures that accompanied the Star Wars Episode II: Attack of the Clones movie, and has skyrocketed since then. We've done the midnight toy onsales at Toys 'R Us twice which have been nuts. (I even managed to rope in a co-worker of mine. Now he too has been bitten by the Star Wars Action Figure bug, and there seems to be no cure for the itch!) I've got most of the Revenge of the Sith collection as well, with a few figures here and there from previous collections. I'm likeing the new Star Wars Transformers figures, but mostly just their vehicle modes. But at least it is a fusion of my two favorite toy lines. My favorite figure so far? Star Wars Celebration III Darth Vader! (God Bless eBay!!) So many figures, so little cash!
A word on the Nintendo DS: I'm a Nintendo guy, pure and simple. My brother has a PS2, my other brother wants an XBox, but I will always remain true to Nintendo. That being said, what is up with the dimly lit screens? The Gamboy Advanced offered better graphics, but god forbid you try to play outdoors on a sunny day. Then came the Gameboy Advanced SP. I personally loved this system. I got the blue one as soon as it came out. I couldn't bear to part with it when the DS came out, so I gave it to my girlfriend for safekeeping. Now, the DS is a great system, graphics could stand to be a bit crisper, but beggars can't be choosers. The two screens, a novelty at first glance, have been greatly underused however. Although it is nice not to have to switch screens in order to look at a map to see where the hell you are, but the true nature of the touchscreen is to be touched. That being said, the games that have made the most use of the touchscreen have been your less-than-typical game fodder. (eg. Nintendogs, Trauma Center, Electroplankton). Games such as this bring the most diehard nintendo gamer down to the level of a Japanese school girl. I face ridicule for not only buying, but thoroughly enjoying games such as Nintendogs or Meteos, but damn if they don't have their entertainment value! I just got a copy of Electroplankton on Friday, and although it is nothing more than a light and sound creator, it is fun and addicting, as well as creative. Colors, lights, and music result as you manipulate these microscopic creatures with your stylus, your voice, your clapping, or your breath. (Yep, your breath!) What other game can boast such a claim? None! So, hand me my plaid skirt and my knee-high socks, for a Japanese School Girl Am I!!!
So, here he is, Joshua Ramirez, 8lbs. 13oz., born this January 28th of 2006. This kid is gonna be spoiled, but he will also be loved very deeply. I remember meeting his mom in high school, both of us goofballs, so of course we got along right away. Our group of friends has been pretty much inseperable since senior year at good ol' MHS. (Go class of '97!! WOO HOO!! Man, we're old!! But I digress!) It has been amazing seeing how much we've all grown (physically, not mentally) and accomplished in our lives. We've been through so much, been there for each other whenever the need arose. This is a welcome addition to our circle of friends. He will be loved. Congratulations Adi and Enrique, may you never sleep again!!
So, we're eagerly awaiting the arrival of one of my best friend's baby. She'll be the first of our group of high school friends to have a child. (She was also the first one to get married!). Perhaps I should get a move on on starting my family. After all, I've been with my girlfriend for about 9 years. I know we've been thinking about it a lot lately, especially since she is finishing school this year. Who knows, maybe it'll happen soon. Only the future can tell.
This is my first blog, so please bear with me as I try to get the kinks out. In the meantime, please enjoy George Burns reincarnated as a monkey:-)!
So, I had to go through all this mess just to be able to post a comment on my buddy's blog?? Sheesh, thanks a lot.
